tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post5048539331954762761..comments2024-03-18T08:17:10.105-04:00Comments on The Irreverent Psychologist: Children For Sale: Get 'Em While They're HotAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-3795971951517097362015-05-16T23:02:09.869-04:002015-05-16T23:02:09.869-04:00I'm not so sure they have the best interests o...I'm not so sure they have the best interests of children in mind, either.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-27948582351890317642015-05-13T14:02:13.325-04:002015-05-13T14:02:13.325-04:00Thanks for this blog, Jason. As an adult adoptee,...Thanks for this blog, Jason. As an adult adoptee, I find these pages revolting. They are open to the public, so everyone can collect information on these disrupted children. Unlike you, I do not believe that these agencies have the childrens' best interest in mind; they are just greedy corporations preying on those most vulnerable. Again, thanks!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08209873686144916390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-3793607857611719052015-04-11T19:07:22.286-04:002015-04-11T19:07:22.286-04:00It might help if rather pulling your soapbox down ...It might help if rather pulling your soapbox down around your head, you get off of it and listen to someone else and their perspective. You've made your perspective, point, and needs clear. You also continue to fail to have the moral imagination to put yourself in the shoes of an adoptee who is advertised on an open Facebook page. This post isn't about you, it's about adopted children who have been thrown away and are in a world of pain. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-15376686082280626312015-04-11T18:54:26.959-04:002015-04-11T18:54:26.959-04:00Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting, ...Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting, Anonymous. I wrote this piece, and advocated for a change, precisely because I imagined someone like you. Childhood is hard, being adopted is hard, being unwanted and adopted is hard -- there is no reason at all that someone who has to experiences these difficulties needs to grow up and discover that their story and image were on a Facebook page. We can do better. We should do better. We must do better.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-11901105215761928692015-04-11T18:39:33.727-04:002015-04-11T18:39:33.727-04:00Thanks for stopping in, Debbie. I think what Krist...Thanks for stopping in, Debbie. I think what Krista misses is the perspective of an adoptee. It hurts my heart thinking of these children growing up and finding their images and stories on the internet. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-22595808948055892032015-04-11T18:15:06.892-04:002015-04-11T18:15:06.892-04:00Krista I would like to know exactly what credentia...Krista I would like to know exactly what credentials you have. I am thinking you are a huge part of this company that likes to broker children. My credentials is I am an adoptee. This rehoming is VILE!! It is upsetting to no end. There is no manual or guarentee when you give birth to your own biological children so why should adoptee's be any different. Some of these children were PURCHASED from over sea's. Then just let loose to be slashed all over a rehoming pound page. The bio's are DISCUSTING!! Stating the said child does not harm animals ect. I did not know that harming animals was a side effect from being adopted. I am anxious to see Biological children posted with photo's and bio's. When you put your own child up on one of these pages Krista THEN come back and talk. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811550922491242001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-9912856741150280582015-03-25T17:20:44.905-04:002015-03-25T17:20:44.905-04:00Hi. Thanks for your reply. I disagree I am deflec...Hi. Thanks for your reply. I disagree I am deflecting that issue - that seems a lame way to try and invalidate someone's points just because they are disagreeing with your premise. I do not see any issue in what they are publishing online. They are not publishing their psyc evals, or social evals, or medical history. There is far less about them than your average 20 year old publishes online about themselves every day. What is considered 'private' is an evolving cultural concept. Every decade for the last 100 years has brought changes in what ought to be 'private' from a cultural standpoint. What was considered 'private' 20 years ago is not so anymore with the age of the Internet. And, if I go to www.adoptuskids.org, the profiles there are no different from what I see at WASATCH. As I said, lots of children, both birth and adoptive, come from broken, disrupted homes. We should not treat that fact as something shameful they need to hide away and keep private, as if they have done anything wrong. They have not done anything wrong. They deserve a new family that will give them the support and love they deserve. If a child is in a harmful situation where their care and health will be neglected, than they have the right to go to a new home, and the Internet is the first and foremost best place to allow families ready to adopt to find children who are ready for new homes. The title of your blog makes it sounds like the children are left on a corner for free pick up by anyone. It is misleading and unfortunate you would perpetuate misinformation such as that. When I look at what the foster care system is doing to children, I see a far better method in the way WASATCH is handling this, and I do not agree there are privacy violations. MEnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-25889681580276395932015-03-23T18:32:40.740-04:002015-03-23T18:32:40.740-04:00Great article. I am adopted ( private broker as a...Great article. I am adopted ( private broker as adoptive mother was not able to adopt through legal channels due to mental illness). I hope these children find their " forever home" but I having been an unwanted adopted child I would be further hurt if I found my picture on a facebook page . And all of my history ? If RAD is an issue, this method to secure a home is not going to address the deeper issues of the current adoption. I finally found someone who could think outside the box and help me in a way I needed to be helped, for that, I am grateful. Adopting a child is not the only way to help a child and I commend you for highlighting this Jason. These children when they become adults will thank you, in that perhaps by using your experience and knowledge that these children will have the dignity they deserve, not only for today but for life . We teach by example . Posting history on Facebook of all places, is not dignified, it is not respectful. If someone is serious then they can contact agency to get further details. If they wish to have details on their own dedicated page where people have to log in so an IP can be traced if need be , then so be it. Then again, what do I know as an adopted child, unwanted child, rehomed child ? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-51474841895783199302015-03-19T23:38:03.556-04:002015-03-19T23:38:03.556-04:00There are myriad of ways that prospective parents,...There are myriad of ways that prospective parents, who have been properly vetted, can learn about children without exposing the children's images and history to the general internet. The internet is forever, as I'm sure you know. The internet is also open to everyone, so parents who are thinking about adopting children can see, predators can see, and for the rest of a child's life, anyone who cares to investigate can find information out about a child that they may or may not wish to share. <br /><br />What I see in your comment is someone desperately trying to deflect from the conversation at hand: the complete failure to imagine the impact that publishing information about vulnerable children on the internet might have on those children today, tomorrow, and for the rest of their life. <br /><br />How shameful to fail to have the moral imagination to consider the impact this has on children. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-29626063461953687622015-03-19T22:48:43.321-04:002015-03-19T22:48:43.321-04:00Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for stopping by and addin...Dear Anonymous, <br /><br />Thanks for stopping by and adding your comment. You do a wonderful job of pointing to the serious break down of moral imagination that many anonymous commenters on the internet, such as yourself, have. Your attempt at being condescending and demeaning toward me--a psychologist with nearly 25 years of experience--while totally avoiding considering the lived perspective of children who are abandoned by their adoptive parents, demonstrates how poorly equipped you are to engage in any sort of perspective taking. <br /><br />This post isn't about the need of parents who have failed at parenting their adoptive children: it is about the experience of children who have their personal information placed on the internet for anyone to see, ever. <br /><br />If you elect to exercise your moral imagination you may consider what it would be like for a child, an adolescent, or a grown up to live with their image and information about their psychiatric history to be placed on the internet for any stranger to read at any point. If you stopped for a moment you might consider the perspective of what it might be like for a child to forever have this vulnerable time of their life--when they are surrendered by their adoptive parents--shared openly on the internet. <br /><br />So, anonymous, have you considered the ways in which your focus on your own needs and experiences creates a situation where you are totally neglectful of what vulnerable children experience? Have you considered your own failure at having the moral imagination to consider the perspective of another?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-42738133388136737302015-03-19T17:49:03.993-04:002015-03-19T17:49:03.993-04:00Have you considered Jason, that perhaps these fami...Have you considered Jason, that perhaps these families and agencies care more for the children that you could ever? I am saddened by the amount of people who sit is lofty chairs passing judgement on things they know very little of. Stop and think for a moment that these children need care that often times can't be provided in a healing way by the first adoptive family. I know of many, my own included that want these children to get the care and help they need to overcome their past hurts, but so many of the children view the first adoptive family with only anger and rage, and it isn't until they join the second family that they are able to let go and begin to heal. Mind you, it isn't an easy road, but healing is what is at the heart of anyone who chooses to seek a second adoption for a child. Rehoming is an ignorant choice of words and doesn't apply to legal state approved, judge approved, lawyer facilitated adoptions. Please spend a week living with a family in trauma, fearing for the safety of each of the people living there because of a child's rage against the people who loved them most and wanted to help them out of a terrible situation. If after doing so, you still feel so lofty in your position... judge away, but in honesty, I don't see you as helping.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-53866063290423479902015-03-19T12:47:55.401-04:002015-03-19T12:47:55.401-04:00Foster kids are also listed on sites to share thei...Foster kids are also listed on sites to share their photo, profile and information to try and find prospective parents. Maybe WASATCH has changed before I went to view it, but I don't see anything different in what they profile than many sites with foster children I have viewed. All the foster kids listed online also come from 'disrupted' families too. The sad fact is, whether birth children or adoptive children, sometimes the parents cannot take proper care of them. That could be for drug reasons, or mental health reasons, crime, or a long list of reasons - but not everyone has the skills/abilities to take care of every type of child. I see so little screaming about how messed up the foster care system is and what that does to children... or few articles about the fact that it is now estimated that 1-in-3 girls are molested by family members (birth families!) - but Reuters does special investigations of disrupted adoptions, even though their % of total adoptions each year is very small - and everyone is up in arms. People need some perspetive. Reuters article was bad reporting and was missing a lot of facts. Children have the right to a good home. If their current one is bad and dysfunctional (whether adoptive or birth) then the child deserves the right to go to a new home that can provide the right support and care. MEnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-64078116819544958562015-03-03T07:31:07.484-05:002015-03-03T07:31:07.484-05:00I think that's a wonderful solution to a diffi...I think that's a wonderful solution to a difficult problem: vetting potential families and only releasing photos and information about kids. Sadly, I'd invite you to consider this possibility: what would happen if current legal guardians of children give consent for the image and personal information of their children to to released on a Facebook group? Would that be legal and ethical? Would that be legal but not ethical? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-42301257799960525652015-03-03T07:10:46.991-05:002015-03-03T07:10:46.991-05:00Jason, I found your blog after Googling Second Cha...Jason, I found your blog after Googling Second Chance Adoptions. My sister had shared a link to their page with concerns about human trafficking. I had many concerns as well and was trying to determine their location so I (another licensed professional) could file a query of unethical standards of care for children. I am familiar with adoption process and the photo listing of AdoptUsKids. AUS is compiled by state children's agencies and do protect children's information. Only after you have been vetted as a potential family that has had a home-study, then you can request more information about the child. I saw the many people on their FB page post comments about how they've been denied approval from their local DFS to adopt so they are seeking this group out. How completely terrifying!! Imperfect people adopt all the time through their local state agency. Trust me, they aren't in the business of only looking for "perfect" families. If that was the case, children would never get adopted from the foster care system. So to be turned down tells me there was a major concern about a child's welfare in that home. Thank you Jason for bringing attention to this very scary organization! I support you as well and will also file a complaint with Facebook!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-9809138364799533482015-02-07T10:58:18.770-05:002015-02-07T10:58:18.770-05:00Rehoming a child is abandonment of parental attach...Rehoming a child is abandonment of parental attachment. A parent says they are not able to meet their obligation to care and raise a child, and terminates their attachment with their child.<br /><br />Again Christa, you are demonstrating your lack of moral imagination. You are thinking of your perspective: you fail at every turn to consider the experiences of children who are adopted and/or rehomed. You are also failing to consider the experiences of adult adoptees. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-14963728531475014392015-02-07T10:49:37.269-05:002015-02-07T10:49:37.269-05:00Legality doesn't not imply a decision is moral...Legality doesn't not imply a decision is moral, just, or in the best interest of a child. You again demonstrate that you lack the moral imagination to consider perspectives other than your own. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-66496401600787929292015-02-07T09:52:45.705-05:002015-02-07T09:52:45.705-05:00Christa,
Again, I think you are having trouble ge...Christa,<br /><br />Again, I think you are having trouble getting out of your own way. This blog post isn't about you and it isn't about adoptive parents. It's about having the moral imagination to consider the impact sharing the personal, private, and sensitive information of vulnerable children on a Facebook group for the entire internet to consume. <br /><br />It's shameful and sad how you continue to wish to make this conversation about anything but the topic: children and their needs. <br /><br />As for my talking butt hole: I have a bachelor in psychology, a master of arts in counseling psychology, and master of science in clinical psychology, a doctorate in clinical psychology, a postdoctoral fellowship in adolescent psychotherapy, am a licensed psychologist and health care provider in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and have over 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, adults, elders, trauma, and severe mental illness. Like the rest of me, my talking butt hole is extremely educated, informed, and experienced. <br /><br />I hope you find a way to get out of your own way, and consider perspectives and needs that are not your own. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-41861004378093406682015-02-07T09:07:28.868-05:002015-02-07T09:07:28.868-05:00Imagine you were seeking a second opinion for a ps...Imagine you were seeking a second opinion for a psychiatric condition you might have, Christa. Would you put your psychologist's notes on Facebook for prospective psychiatrists to read--along with whomever else might look at this open Facebook page? No. You would not. You would be horrified if anyone suggested you do such a thing. You'd screen prospective psychiatrists and release your personal information to only those psychiatrists that you wish to read your personal and private information, and you'd be assured through legal mechanisms that those psychiatrists would keep your information private and not share it with anyone else.<br /><br />Why would we expect children to be satisfied with less privacy, security, and respect for their private and personal information? Prospective adoptive parents can be screened, required to sign a non-disclosure contract, and then be given disclosures. There is no reason, at all, for this personal and private information to be distributed across the internet.<br /><br />You are thinking of yourself, and your needs Christa. You fail to have the moral imagination to consider the needs of a child. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-19140848562453891362015-02-07T00:04:19.285-05:002015-02-07T00:04:19.285-05:00so, perspective families shiuld know nothing about...so, perspective families shiuld know nothing about a child coming into their home? How else would a family find these children? Christa Lewis-Newberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668533751887115624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-54391978908130725082015-02-07T00:01:03.090-05:002015-02-07T00:01:03.090-05:00Because speaking out of your "butt hole"...Because speaking out of your "butt hole" over a subject you know nothing about is absolutely ridiculous. I would suggest you go get an education and speak about something you have "hands on" knowledge about. I may not have adopted, but I have very close friends who have and their are some children who can NOT thrive in a normal (or shall I say mainstream) family environment. Behave you ever completed any extensive research on RAD (reactive attachment disorder). I believe you "think" you're doing the world a favor by "blasting" abusive and manipulative words about situations you have no real insight about. You obviously have never learned any Noel's about judgment and how you should not stick your nose where it does NOt belong. Unfortunately we live in a world where DHSCPS, etc... Is bogged down with children needing adopted for whatever reason and these people who "try" to adopt these children and love them often do not know the child's history and the problems facing them. Some RAD children can be downright psychopathic, then thier is actual physical abide, even death. Why don't you focus on birth parents who do drugs and drink alcohol their whole pregnancies, and the ones who beat, molest, rape, starve, and neglect the children that they brought into this world... At least their are agencies trying to do their best to give these disturbed children a "second chance" at least the children aren't being sent to a shelter to never know what real true love feels like!! You make me absolutely sick with your arrogant and uneducated words... Christa Lewis-Newberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668533751887115624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-40773008666706570682015-02-06T18:26:03.872-05:002015-02-06T18:26:03.872-05:00I'm not sure how whether one has adopted one o...I'm not sure how whether one has adopted one of "these" children impacts on whether or not it is a good idea to share personal information about children on the internet for the entire world to see. Let's not deflect from the real point of this dialogue, Christa. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-6713851014200885472015-02-06T18:16:57.198-05:002015-02-06T18:16:57.198-05:00I think you are having trouble getting out of your...I think you are having trouble getting out of your own way, Christa. Of course potential adoptive parents have the right to know all about the child they are considering adopting. What you continue to fail to consider is that by placing information about children on a public Facebook page, the entire internet is able to see private, sensitive, and personal information about vulnerable children. <br /><br />Let's not deflect from the purpose of this post: we need to consider the impact it has on children when personal information is shared about them on the internet for the entire world to see. Families, apparently, may not be forever, but the internet is. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-26058800368055953822015-02-06T18:10:32.441-05:002015-02-06T18:10:32.441-05:00I'm sorry if you've had some of these expe...I'm sorry if you've had some of these experiences, Christa. I fear however you are missing the point. As I've mentioned elsewhere to you, there are myriad forums for parents to discuss their experiences. There are precious few forums to consider the experiences of children. This blog post isn't about you or your experience, and isn't about the experience of adoptive parents in general. This blog post is about the experiences of vulnerable children who have to endure having their personal information placed on the internet for the world to see. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-81997072391420742352015-02-06T18:04:30.725-05:002015-02-06T18:04:30.725-05:00Christa,
Since you asked the question, what sorts...Christa,<br /><br />Since you asked the question, what sorts of credentials do you have to make decisions about the impact posting private information about children has on their future? I have a bachelor in psychology, a master of arts in counseling psychology, and master of science in clinical psychology, a doctorate in clinical psychology, a completed post-doctoral fellowship in adolescent psychotherapy, and 25 years of clinical experience. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437830556630350204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8975835436255022813.post-28322522681455458852014-12-27T23:28:40.392-05:002014-12-27T23:28:40.392-05:00The state defends the original agency b/c it is us...The state defends the original agency b/c it is usually COS, DHS or another child welfare state ran agency and if you call for "help, resources, or to re-home" they threaten you with child abandonment!! It's the same thing that is wrong with the rest of the world... "Politics"Christa Lewis-Newberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668533751887115624noreply@blogger.com