The Development of Empathy

Importance of Looking Deeply

One of the things I have valued most about my graduate education is that my mentors insisted that I look at things deeply. Don't be satisfied with how things appear at first glance or even after just a little investigation. Dig deep and look at all the sources. Confront my own bias and interpretation. This morning I'm thinking a lot about the encouragement my mentors gave me.

At various times over the last several months I've come across a controversy between the Humane Society of the United States and HumaneWatch. I got sucked right into the kerfuffle on Twitter when the HSUS retweeted one of my postings and suddenly my screen became filled with Humane Watch proxies warning me about the "evils" of the Humane Society of the United States. They were generally two different types of messages. The first generally communicated that the Humane Society wasn't very humane because they allegedly euthanize animals and the other is that the Humane society is allegedly an ominous force because they advocate a vegan diet.

Oh no. Not a vegan diet! That's just plain evil.

This morning I got a few invitations to join a  Facebook page for the Humane Watch. My curiosity was finally piqued about this group and their propaganda. My first question was who is behind the organization.   Was it a group of concerned animal activists? Disgruntled former employees from HSUS? I figured if I knew the structure under the organization I could understand more of where they were coming from. I figured it would be difficult to find out. In the end, this was the easiest research I've ever done.

Scroll to the bottom of the Humane Watch webpage. There is a copyright noticed saying all content is copyrighted by the Center for Consumer Freedom. This center is an organization run by restaurant, tobacco, alcohol, and other similar organizations. They run a variety of media campaigns supporting the interests of the various industries they represent. Want to do some of your own deep research about the Center for Consumer Freedom? Check out Sourcewatch. That's one place to start.

What things are the Center for Consumer Freedom supporting? They provide financial surveillance on organizations and individuals that support "anti-consumer" organizations. They campaign against animal rights groups. They go after watchdogs such as the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Suggest that we ought not to worry about the levels of mercury in seafood (they must be really concerned, because they have another website too). Then of course there is the kerfuffle that started all of this with the Humane Watch that is, among other things, warning that the HSUS wants us all to be vegan.

Yes, there is more. To round up the sites that the Center for Consumer Freedom sponsors we have one about Obesity Myths in which we learn it is lifestyle, not diet, that makes us fat. PETA kills animals, according to another website they sponsor.  Another goes after the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine because it has the gall to suggest that high fat fast food is bad for us and eating more vegan foods might be better. The Center for Consumer Freedom calls this one Physician Scam. Lastly, we apparently don't have to worry about too much sugar in our foods because it is all just a Sweet Scam.

What makes me sad here is that science--real meaningful science--gets obscured by propaganda that is trying to sell more fast food, support more factory farms, and manage our environment in thoughtless and destructive ways. Good people end up getting manipulated by the science that is intended to educate and improve the lives of society.

Carefully read what you encounter out their in the world. Look deeply before you click "like" on facebook. Give some thought to who is trying to get you to believe what--and why they want you to believe it.

The Day After

As was the case at Wellesley college, the academic year had just begun and my schedule was already full. I had been on campus for about a week as a doctoral level practicum student at the Stone Center Counseling Service. I had an 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30 client scheduled.

I had gotten my first appointment of the day, sat down with her, and went about the business of doing therapy. I walked her to the office, scheduled her next appointment, and heard from the secretary that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I remember thinking that was sad, got my next client, and went back to the business of doing therapy. The thought of the plane crash was pushed far out of my mind. I repeated the previous process and walked my second patient to the office. I scheduled her appointment and said goodbye. Only then did I notice the ashen faces of those gathered in the office. "They are gone," she said. I asked "what is gone?". She said the buildings, the buildings are gone. I walked and got my 10:30 client and again put everything out of my mind.

It wasn't until 11:30, when I finally had a break, that my attention went back to the conversations held in the office and what meaning was held in those words.

That was nine years and one day ago. In some respects, and enormous amount of time has passed. Yet in other ways, the world has stayed exactly the same.

I was struck yesterday by a quote in the Boston Globe. A person protesting the Islamic Center that is to be built in a former Burlington Coat Factory Store carried a sign that said "It stops here" and "Never forgive, never forget, no WTC mosque."

Never forgive. Simple words really--simple words that are brimming over with unexpressed anger. Simple words that will forever prevent one protester, a country, and a world from moving forward. Without forgiveness, hate continues to reside in the heart. The day after never comes and one is forever trapped in a moment of pain and anguish.

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget--Thomas Szaz

Why is this? The forgiving isn't for the other--it's for us. Once we find a way to release ourselves through forgiveness, we can continue move forward with our life rather than being trapped in the past. The past becomes a memory--in it's proper place. Without forgiveness, the past remains trapped in our present and it is never the day after.

Mindfulness in Action

Well all I have to say is oops. As regular readers know, I made it my goal to have 365 moments of mindfulness this year in the same spot. I've been following through with this and made a short video of the first 39 days. This weekend I encountered my first snafu. The technological demons attacked me and my phone. I put up a valiant fight: I couldn't get the images to upload directly to the drop box where I'm storing the files so I thought I might first transfer them from the phone to my computer. That didn't go as anticipated and I lost about four days worth of images.

However, in the end that is what this is all about for me. Sure I'm disappointed and might annoyed. There isn't much I can do about it other than complain for a bit (despite what other people say, I think a good ten minutes of complaining can make anything better). I'll just give myself ten minutes however. Then it's time to move on and continue.

Photo of the Day: Nature's Classroom Edition

Almost as if on cue, the weather changed to give a hint of the autumn to come right as the moving trucks descended upon Cambridge filled with first year students. Class is in session: study hard and be mindful of nature's classroom. She'll teach you well.

Community Politics

It seems that wherever dogs and people come together there is controversy. The politics have gotten a bit tense in my neck of the woods.


I'm not sure when this whole situation started. I've been aware of it since last March. From my vantage point, the current recipe for disaster involves the following ingredients: there is a group of people with well mannered dogs who like to walk their dog without a leash in an open field along our neighborhood reservoir. There are people who are not from the neighborhood who do not have well mannered (or well trained!) dogs who like to walk their dogs without a leash. Still others have well mannered dogs who walk on leashes. There is a local community action committee president that appears not to like people who walk their dogs without leashes very much (regardless of leash status). 


Combine these three ingredients, stir, and you get a whole lot of trouble.


As I talk with neighbors I hear stories of other neighbors taking pictures of people and their dogs and sending it to the police. I hear that those pictures are presented along with a citation to dog owners on their front porch by the police. I've received letters (which all neighbors have received) warning of the leash law and stating that if there are repeated violations dogs may be confiscated. Yours truly, the irreverent psychologist, nearly went off the deep end today when he noticed he was getting his picture taken while playing with his dog on a leash.


What's most sad about this whole situation is that in general, the people arguing about the people walking dogs without a leash and the people who are walking dogs without a leash are the people who spend the most time caring for the reservoir. Both groups of people spend time at the reservoir walking, clearing away litter, and building a community garden. With this controversy neighbors start to distrust neighbors. Many have started walking their dogs elsewhere. 

The results of this? At first nothing. The change was imperceptible. Many still walk their dogs. A few dedicated gardeners still work the soil and coax magnificent plants to blossom. However right under the surface, the steady march of urban decay started back up. The trash, as you can see on the right, is really starting to pile up. The images is what Maggie and I gathered on two sequential mornings while walking. 

With groups of neighbors (often with dogs) no longer gathering at the top of the reservoir to watch the sunset I started noticing larger and larger groups of teens gathering. This isn't a problem in-and-of-itself. However, without the presence of adults, the teens started feeling that the reservoir was a good place to be unsupervised. They bring blankets, beer, and condoms. I find the remains of their adventures in the morning when I'm walking Maggie. Every week I find just a little bit more garbage. 


Of course teens partied at the reservoir when there were more neighbors enjoying the park. Teens (and adults) still left behind litter. It is just that it was more controlled when the younger folks though that they might be noticed. They knew this was a community that was cared for and were likely to care for it themselves. 


With the arrival of more young people and the litter they left behind, I started noticing a steady increase of dog poop underfoot. It took me awhile to understand this. Less dog walkers should mean less dog poop. I finally figured it out a few days ago. There are less responsible dog walkers (with leashes, or without) who are picking up after their dog. Some of those people were also picking up after other dogs, but there is something even more powerful at play. With less responsible dog owners, there is less role modeling. Those that remain walking their dogs (ironically, with leashes) are the ones most likely to leave dog poop behind. 


As urban decay has marched on the problems have increased. Every day there is more litter, more dog poop, more graffiti (I've been noticing more swastikas and such), more remainders of drug deals, and more reports of crime.


I shouldn't be all that surprised. Since 1982 social scientists have spoken about the notion of the broken windows theory. The main idea, taken from the original article, is this:

• Consider a building with a few broken windows. If the windows are not repaired, the tendency is for vandals to break a few more windows. Eventually, they may even break into the building, and if it's unoccupied, perhaps become squatters or light fires inside.
• Or consider a sidewalk. Some litter accumulates. Soon, more litter accumulates. Eventually, people even start leaving bags of trash from take-out restaurants there or breaking into cars.

The theory explains itself by three main points. The urban environment (well cared for, or in disrepair) applies influence with three major factors: social norms and conformity; the presence or lack of monitoring; and social signaling and signal crime. What does this mean? The norms of the community greatly influence the behaviors of those who enter it (picking up dog poop vs. not; leaving litter behind versus collecting it and disposing it; stopping to have conversations with neighbors versus ignoring them). Having neighbors who mention "do you need a bag to pick up that poop" applies powerful influence to other neighbors demonstrating that they are being monitored--when monitored people are more likely to conform to social normals. Signal crimes are those that make people generally feel that there is a possibility they are unsafe (graffiti, vandalism, etc.). 


The irony here is that this neighborhood was once the site of an experiment conducted by researchers at Harvard and Suffolk Universities. They looked at the concept of the broken window theory and recorded if there were differences in neighborhoods that received extra attention versus those that did not. The theory was supported by the research and calls to the police dropped nearly 20 percent. 


So what is my point here? My point is this: communities are living breathing creatures that need to be cared for and nurtured. It's so sad to watch neighbors close down, turn inward, and stop relating to each other. The community suffers and the neighborhood starts marching a little closer toward urban decay. 

365 Days of Mindfulness: Part One

I had a great conversation with someone this week about mindfulness. Usually when someone says that word we conjure up blissful images of quiet rooms, comfortable cushions, or maybe a babbling brook. Those are all great images--they can inspire one to take in their surroundings without judgement, evaluation, or thought. It's not a requirement, however. Mindfulness simply put is seeing things as they are while quieting the minds' ongoing narrative about what is being experienced. You can be mindful someplace peaceful. You can also be mindful someplace noisy, upsetting, or otherwise distracting.

For the last 39 days I've been involved in a little project of mind: 365 Days of Mindfulness. My hope is to stand in one spot every day for a year and spend five seconds being mindful. I'm recording the image of what I see from that spot and uploading it to the blog. If you look on the right you'll see a widget window that plays a slideshow of the pictures.

Below is a clip of the first 39 days. What do you see?